Evolution of the Christmas Monkey

About six years ago we had a Christmas party at Annette's house. After the dinner we all participated in a little nativity play. Lisette was Mary and wore a blue towel around her head and held a little doll. Matthew was Joseph wearing a little bath robe. Miles was supposed to be a wise man, but he insisted on being a monkey instead. So we experienced the first nativity with a monkey; the Christmas Monkey.

I've always been pretty down on the whole Santa business. Once in college Amy and I had this big debate about the merits of the concept of Santa Claus. I can't remember much of our arguments, but I was definitely anti-Santa. My parents never really put much emphasis on Mr. Kringle when I was a kid anyway. So our kids have always known that Santa is false doctrine. I know, I know, I'm a Grinch, but I guess I'm their dad and so I guess their stuck with me.

Every year the legend of the Christmas Monkey expands at our house. First he was just a supporting character, but he has now effectively replaced Mr. Claus. Now he fills the stockings and leaves leaves monkey poop (usually Milk Duds or Whoppers) all over the floor.


Anyway, St. Nick has been replaced with St. Primate. Instead of leaving out a plate of cookies and milk, the kids leave out a dish of oranges and bananas. Instead of of reindeer and a sleigh, the Christmas Monkey comes in his silent helicopter and then swings down between the trees on his invisible vine wearing toe-socks and flip-flops.

So is the Christmas Monkey any better than Santa Claus? I don't know, but we sure have fun with it. The kids feel sad for all the kids who don't know about the Christmas Monkey and have to settle for Santa. We love our own unique family holiday tradition and jungle Christmas mythos.