Happy Mother's Day from Melinda

Mom on her last birthday. (She still had hair then despite the hat.)

Things I Have Learned From My Mother (in no particular order):

1.      It’s okay to say no. I remember sometimes thinking, “Really, Mom, you could do that,” but now I’m grateful she didn’t. She just said, “No, that’s too much,” and she didn’t feel guilty.

2.      It’s okay to take care of yourself. Even with eight children, Mom faithfully took naps. I don’t follow her example in taking naps, but I do think it is easier for me to take care of myself in other ways because she showed me that it was okay.

3.      It’s okay to read “other” translations of the Bible (meaning other than good old King James, which is the official scripture of the LDS church.) I remember as a teenager thinking that Mom was kind of heretical the way she read  (gasp) the New Living Translation. Now I totally follow her example, and I'm grateful for the world it's opened up to me. (To be clear, I think we both also read the King James version. And no one is necessarily endorsing the NLT. It's just what Mom had in those days.)

4.      A perfect body is not the goal. Having a perfect body does not make you a better person, nor does a perfect body necessarily make you more attractive or even more sexually desirable (though maybe she never used the words “sexually desirable”). I recognize now what a gift it was to have a mother who disbelieved  in “dieting” and who taught me that much of beauty is culturally determined and that our culture is largely dysfunctional in this regard.

5.      Church service is important. Although she doesn’t believe in running faster than she has strength, Mom has always faithfully served in the “little” callings, like visiting teaching, and the “big” callings, like nursery leader. I don't always follow her example well, but I can't deny her influence.

6.      Your feelings are your feelings. Although it does matter what you do with them, it’s okay to have negative feelings. I remember in high school sobbing because I “had to” go out on a date. (Dating was hard for me, okay.) If I remember right, Dad was a bit concerned by my extreme reaction, but I remember Mom saying to him, “It’s okay, dear. This is how she feels.” (After much family support I did go on the date and it was good for me. Bless the poor boy who took me!)

7.      Family is top priority. First spouse, then children, then extended family, but all are very important. I’ve definitely inherited this value (from both my parents actually) though I don’t think I live my life in harmony with it quite as well as Mom does.

8.      Optimism and Faith. It’s hard for me to untangle where one leads into the other. Mom has a huge faith in God and in the Gospel of Christ. She also has a huge faith that the Lord is in charge. I think that might be the root of a lot of her optimism. When my house started falling apart, when we had to move in with Mom and Dad for remodeling, when I was pregnant and sick during that same time, Mom kept saying that this would all be for good. I thought, “Sure, Mom, sure. We’ll get through, but I wish we didn’t have to.” But now I have to admit that although she was “pathologically optimistic,” she was also totally right.

I love you, Mom!

Melinda